So here it is, the answer to the question every writer asks themselves: how the blue blazes do I manipulate the Nobel committee into giving me a prize?
I copied the extracts (presumably the most representative quotes) of the Nobel prize for literature citations from the Wikipedia page. Then I copied it into the AntConc corpus program. These were the, revealing, results:
- Write poetry – or, at the very least, literature in a poetic or lyrical style.
- Drama and epic novels are next best.
- Consider yourself an artist, produce pieces of art.
- Write about the human condition and the world, ideally paying attention to historical truth.
- Don’t stop: the Nobel prize rewards your life’s work, it will take time.
- Force, power, strength and realism are rewarded.
- But so are lofty spirit, deep thought, rich imagination and idealism.
- Ideas are good, style is important – but neither are as important as narrative.
- It is good to be contemporary, better to be traditional, but best of all to be new.
- Your work should be great, inspired, brilliant, clear and outstanding – in that order.
- If you follow these guidelines then you will claim recognition and tribute – and possibly freedom.